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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27888577">The Things We Think But Cannot Say</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaughterofEL/pseuds/DaughterofEL'>DaughterofEL</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supergirl (TV 2015), supercorp - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Diary, F/F, Hurt, Journal Entries, Poetry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:08:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>828</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27888577</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaughterofEL/pseuds/DaughterofEL</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Some poems and fictional journal entries from both Kara and Lena’s journals.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. She Will Never Know</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This first entry is by Lena. Right around the end of season 3. When she begins her relationship with James. Except Lena’s heart not really into the relationship. Because she’s been harboring secret feelings for her best friend Kara.<br/>Angst.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>She’s not mine to long for.<br/>
She’s not mine at all. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>There was never a time where she might’ve wanted me that way. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She’s not mine to dream about. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>For the life of me I can’t understand. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>How I messed it all up on my own. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She’s not mine to be with and I wish wholeheartedly she that she knew. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Better than to love a damaged soul like mine. She might have been good enough to heal the broken parts of me.<br/>
But she’s not mine in anyway shape or form.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> I tasted the bitterness in someone else’s kiss. Never should have tried to make more of a messed up situation.<br/>
I have learned to pass the time in an intoxicated state.<br/>
If only just to drown out her memory from my mind. But she knows me better still not what I’m truly worth. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>My words made a promise that my tattered heart couldn’t keep. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Now I reap the miserable reward of having lost her. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>When she was never mine to begin with. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>All this fucks me up I need to declutter her image from my head.<br/>
Filled with angry shades of red and blue. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>For my worthless husk of a being.<br/>
The acid in my words cut the last binding piece of this woeful friendship.<br/>
She says she still cares deeply and was only afraid to admit her own faults. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>That she would never pressure me about who I am.</em>
</p><p><em>She says I was always worthy of her love. </em><br/>
Still I decided to reject my own feelings. <br/>
It all just seems for the best.</p><p>
  <em>That I put a definite wall between my head and heart. Maybe being her friend is enough. At least I want it to be. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Except... It’s not</em>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Little Star Flung Girl</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kara’s journal entry after the end of season 2 and beginning of season 3. She’s feeling angry and disconnected from a part of herself.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p2">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">I’m sorry I couldn’t reach you.</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">I was feeling rather <strike>dead</strike>.</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">Although it shouldn’t come as a surprise.</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">I’m long overdue for a new disguise.</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">Sky is full of stars yet no one has noticed.</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">That I’m stranded here all alone.</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">Sometimes I catch myself looking up.</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">Trying to find my way back home.</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">A star flung drifter, I was born too early.</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">Now I’ve spent the last decade wasted on anything.</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">That makes me feel the least bit more human.</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">But the temporary fix does little to ease the ache.</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">Most days I no longer have to pretend I’m numb.</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">Sometimes I wonder why I still try to find.</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">Someone I probably will never meet.</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">I got to sleep in hopes that I wake up again.</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">Just to rinse and repeat the day all over.</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">I hate the ache it brings and everything after.</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">More so how I let this all go on for so long.</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">Let the need rule out my rationalities.</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">I believe I deserve this.</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">Isn’t that the worse thing you ever heard?</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">Oh well apparently all this leads to nothing.</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">I’m still just a lost little broken girl crying out.</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">Longing for a place to call home or something like it.</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">I’m sorry I couldn’t reach you.</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">I was too weak to try to make it alright.</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">Still it’s no surprise at all.</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">It doesn’t make it an easier pill to shallow.</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">I’m tried of trying and I want to give up.</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">All of this just makes it more depressing.</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">I can’t get it right I suppose I don’t want to be right.</span>
  </strong>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Same Old Familiar Sting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lena’s journal entry end of season 4 and beginning of season 5. Where she copes with Kara’s betrayal of her trust.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">Conveniently I started to trust you.<br/>
All I wanted is what you would never give.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">The last time I felt safe was cradled in my mother’s arms as a baby.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">It is a comfort I cannot replace.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">Now I have  alienated myself from everyone.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">Call it self deserving call it self deprecation.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">I would not know any better anyway. </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">All I needed is something you or anyone else would never say.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">Those three words I swallow so no one else could taste them from my lips.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">Drowned myself down right into this addiction.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">The liquor does not have that much of an effect anymore.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">Taken all I would ever give to those who came before you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">I have got no one to blame except myself.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">Because the reality is I don’t have anyone other than myself.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Danvers or Zor-EL?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kara has always had a complex about having a dual identity. Sometimes she fears that people prefer Supergirl over Kara.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">Maybe people fall in love with the idea of you.</span>
  </strong>
</p><p class="p1">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">Because you never really let them see who you really are.</span>
  </strong>
</p><p class="p1">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">So much so that the idea of you being this mystery waiting to be solved.</span>
  </strong>
</p><p class="p1">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">Lures them all in because who doesn't love a good mystery.</span>
  </strong>
</p><p class="p1">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">You don't share what you really feel or say what you really mean.</span>
  </strong>
</p><p class="p1">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">All they see is what you let them see.</span>
  </strong>
</p><p class="p1">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">Your reflection on display for everyone to judge.</span>
  </strong>
</p><p class="p1">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">Only they aren't judging you but your mirror image. </span>
  </strong>
</p><p class="p1">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">Because when they finally get a good look at who you really are.</span>
  </strong>
</p><p class="p1">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">All the fragile damaged jagged pieces of yourself.</span>
  </strong>
</p><p class="p1">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">That you try so hard to hide and deny.</span>
  </strong>
</p><p class="p1">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">You're afraid to admit that you get hurt and that you just like everyone else <strike>bleeds</strike>.</span>
  </strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>All these entries are my original writing. Please do not repost or claim as your own.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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